One of the hardest parts of life is learning to forgive others when they hurt us. Especially when we are asked to forgive the same person over and over and over again. But do you know what’s even harder than forgiving others?
In this week’s article, I want to share with you the reasons why I believe learning to forgive ourselves is one of the most difficult things to do in life but also one of the most important tools we need in order to find true happiness in life.
If you are anything like me then forgiving yourself is hard because you hate admitting when you are wrong and in order to forgive yourself, you must accept some form of fault for something…
It’s hard enough to forgive others. Why does it need to be so difficult for us to forgive ourselves?
Maybe it’s because we know the mistakes we make were avoidable if we made different choices…
Maybe it’s because we put too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect and that makes accepting our flaws more challenging…
Or maybe it’s because we had control over our actions and we now know we made the wrong choice…
Personal forgiveness is especially difficult if we continue to make the same mistakes over and over again.
I’ve been there more times in life than I’d like to count. I’ve made mistakes and promised myself I would make changes in life only to find myself frustrated when I fell back into my old behaviors leading to me making the same mistakes again…
Then my experience was I would begin to grow frustrated that the mistakes I was making were hurting my progress or my ability to be happy. More importantly, the mistakes I was making were hurting those around me and that broke my heart.
This is when personal forgiveness plays a vital role in our ability to be happy. By forgiving ourselves for past behaviors, choices and mistakes, we can pause our current trajectory and reset ourselves for a new opportunity to do things differently. It’s never too late.
When we learn to take a step back and evaluate our choices and forgive ourselves for the mistakes we made previously, we give ourselves the freedom to readjust our approach and try something new. We slow down life just enough to regain control and to reset ourselves to emotional balance. This is where we can think clearly and identify behaviors that need to change.
The truth is, a huge reason why forgiving ourselves in so tough is because the only person to blame when we make mistakes in life is ourselves. And although that accountability is hard it’s of vital importance if we have any chance of forgiving ourselves.
Forgiveness is our way of moving on from the pain we’ve experienced or caused and to free us from that same cycle of pain in the future.
The questions then becomes, do you believe in second chances? Are you willing to give yourself a second chance? And most importantly, if you were given a second chance, what would you do with it?
The Army was my second chance. It was my chance to reset my life and make different choices moving forward. That is why I wrote the following quote in my book, Reflections from the Man in the Mirror, “If you don’t believe in second chances then you must have never been given one”. I was given a second chance in life and I took it and will never let it go.
Forgive yourself for the pain you have caused and give yourself a second chance to seize the opportunity to do things differently moving forward. Once you do that, finding happiness in life is suddenly within reach.
Wait! Before you go…
My father always tells me, “My hope is that you’ll hear my voice in your head long after I’m gone reminding you of everything I’ve taught you.” The truth is, my parents have taught me so much about life and I hear their voices replaying those lessons in my head over and over again every day.
Now as a parent myself, I’m realizing that I want the same for my daughter. For her to grow up hearing my voice teaching her all of the right lessons to guide her through life and for that voice to stick in her head long after I’m gone. In fact, I think most parents probably feel the same way.
But what messages are we using our voice to share? What are we teaching our kids? I created this channel to help spread positive and inspirational messages and lessons about life in a world otherwise full of negativity.
This channel is my way of sharing my voice and my perspective on life with the rest of the world. The same voice, perspective and messages I want my daughter to grow up hearing.
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