An unfortunate truth in life is that our human instincts often fill our brain with negativity and self-doubt in the face of adversity. I know this to be true because this was the brutal uphill battle I fought after the injury that ended my military career. Check out this week’s blog about the one word I used to help me reframe my own negativity and self-doubt into life-changing positivity and inspiration.
The truth is, it was easier for me feel sorry for myself and to be upset and doubt my ability to overcome that injury because that was the default mindset my instincts provided me with. But there must be a way to reframe our inclination to respond with negativity and self-doubt, right? Although I like to think our instincts often lead us in the right direction, sometimes they don’t…
Well, my entire strategy for rewiring our instincts and reframing the negativity in our lives relies on the use of one word…
But first, let’s establish my credentials…
I’ve stared adversity in the face every day for 7 years now and that gives me the confidence to say I not only know what it’s like to have your brain filled with negative thoughts and feelings of self doubt but I’ve gotten very good at reframing those thoughts and feelings into a source of inspiration and positivity.
Here’s how…
The first step is that you need to clearly state what obstacle or challenge in your life is causing you the most trouble. What is the source of hardship in your life? What do you doubt your ability to overcome? What is the foundation of the negativity in your life?
Be specific and be clear.
I call this the “statement of frustration” because when we say it out loud, we are normally frustrated and not happy about our current circumstances. Being frustrated isn’t a bad thing unless you refuse to reshape that frustration into a source of inspiration or something meaningful.
After my injury, I was so frustrated that I had statements of frustration for everything. Here are some real life examples of statements of frustration I made:
I can’t walk without a cane…
I just can’t get rid of the pain…
I can’t get dressed by myself…
I can’t get my weight under control…
I can’t workout…
Statements of frustration can be about just about anything in life that is causing you frustration. But the next step after creating these statements is what’s most important…
If we leave the statements of frustration in the state they are in above, we’re doomed. Why? Because the frustration is crushing our ability to be positive if it’s not reframed. In its current form, it just reinforces our natural instincts to respond negatively to similar events in the future.
What I would challenge you to do while reading this article is take a moment and think of a few statements of frustration for your own life and write them down.
Here are some other examples I’ve heard over the years…
I haven’t lost any weight…
I can’t get over this breakup…
I’m just not happy…
I’m can’t find a job…
I don’t make enough money…
Can you see why these types of statements by themselves would reinforce a viscous cycle of negativity if they remain in this form?
Now for the fun part…
Step number 2 is to add the word “yet” to the end of your negative statements and watch what happens. Depending on how you wrote your statement of frustration, you may use words like “for now” instead.
What’s the difference between the two sentences below?
I can’t walk without a cane….(original form)
I can’t walk without a cane…yet. (reframed)
What about these two:
I haven’t lost any weight… (original)
I haven’t lost any weight…yet. (reframed)
The second sentence takes a statement of frustration and a source of negativity and self-doubt and reframes it into an opportunity to set a goal and get to work. It turns negativity into a source of inspiration and hope.
Being frustrated and angry at your current circumstances is ok! And completely normal, but staying frustrated forever will only make a difficult situation even harder…
By changing my statement of frustration from “I can’t walk without a cane” to “I can’t walk without a cane…yet” I changed the game for myself. I opened up the door to start my recovery. Literally, one word made me unstoppable because now I add that one word to every statement of frustration in my life.
I can’t get rid of this pain…yet
I can’t lose this weight…yet
I can’t get a good nights sleep…yet.
Once I changed the way I phrased what was causing me to be frustrated, the game was changed forever and I became unstoppable.
I don’t walk with a cane anymore.
I can manage the pain better than I ever have before.
I can dress myself from head to toe.
I can workout again and I have lost over 30 lbs in the last 6 months.
Some obstacles may take time to overcome and that’s ok! By reframing the way we look at obstacles we give ourselves the confidence we need to persevere and the patience we need to stay in the fight.
By simply slapping “yet” on the end of your statements of frustration it keeps the door open for you to keep working and to continue fighting to accomplish what you set out to achieve.
It takes a negative statement and turns it into a fireball of motivation.
Try it, I dare you..
Wait! Before you go…
Have you checked out my Youtube channel, A Dad’s Voice, yet? Check out the content here, hit that subscribe button and help me spread some positivity and inspiration with the world.
My father always tells me, “My hope is that you’ll hear my voice in your head long after I’m gone reminding you of everything I’ve taught you.” The truth is, my parents have taught me so much about life and I hear their voices replaying those lessons in my head over and over again every day.
Now as a parent myself, I’m realizing that I want the same for my daughter. For her to grow up hearing my voice teaching her all of the right lessons to guide her through life and for that voice to stick in her head long after I’m gone. In fact, I think most parents probably feel the same way.
But what messages are we using our voice to share? What are we teaching our kids? I created this channel to help spread positive and inspirational messages and lessons about life in a world otherwise full of negativity.
This channel is my way of sharing my voice and my perspective on life with the rest of the world. The same voice, perspective and messages I want my daughter to grow up hearing.
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