(Two minute read about what it really means to be supportive)
I will never forgot saying goodnight to Kelsey Rose the night before our wedding. I was so excited and right as she turned to walk away with her bridesmaids, the nerves kicked in. My brother Nick put his hand on my should and said the only seven words that a brother would want to hear the night before their wedding…..
“What if she doesn’t show up tomorrow?”
Believe it or not, he didn’t say that to make me nervous. In fact, it was exactly what I needed to hear. I busted out laughing and suddenly the nerves were gone. If you knew my brother Nick and I’s relationship, you’d know that words of encouragement aren’t really our cup of tea. We are always there for each other but in our own unique ways. This was Nick’s way of being there for me – by making me laugh. He knew how nervous I was so he brought a huge smile to my face and for that that moment, all of my nerves went away.
I can honestly say that I woke up the next day without nerves. It was just pure excitement. I woke up in a hotel room with a group of my closest buddies getting ready to say yes to the woman of my dreams.
What could be better than that?
That’s when it hit me. There isn’t a universal playbook on how to be supportive to someone. My brother Nick and I have had one hell of a rocky road but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. We support each other through thick and thin but in our own authentic ways…
Supporting someone doesn’t mean you have to always have the right thing to say in their moment of need. It doesn’t mean you have to solve all of their problems and be their rescuer from all of lives troubles. It means you stand with them through the best and worst moments of their life. It means they know that you will always be there when they need you without ever expecting anything in return. And most importantly, being supportive means you have the courage to be the authentic version of yourself because that’s how trust is built and that’s what people need; authentic support.
That night before my wedding, Nick made me laugh by just being, well, Nick. And I wouldn’t trade that for the world. He reminded me that he was right there by my side in his own authentic way. And that’s what life is all about…
Surrounding yourself with great people while doing more of what you love.
If you want to be there for someone – just be there. The day of my wedding I was surrounded by my closest friends literally standing right behind me. And it made me feel invincible.
But then it happened. She came walking down the isle and my legs nearly gave out. The nerves came back like a tsunami but I realized I wasn’t alone and in that moment, my nerves went away again. I had my crew right there with me in the moment I had been waiting for since the day I met her.
By: Timothy A. Natale
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