I miss you lately Papi,
Thanksgiving wasn’t easy without you, but trust me I didn’t show anybody the pain I felt without you there. I miss you like hell. I walked in your room to put my coat away when I got to your house and it hit my harder than it had hit me in a while that you are not here. You changed the way I see the world. You changed the way I live my life. You changed the way I laugh, and you definitely changed the way I love.
As I sat in your room with a tear about to roll down my cheek, I felt pain in my back like I hadn’t felt in a while either. I guess that is your way of reminding me you and I aren’t that different after all. I sat there wondering how you did it. How you kept it all together for this family with all you had on your plate. How did you manage to put all of your problems to the side and face everyone else’s head on? Better yet, how did you do it with a smile on your face? Then it hit me. When I looked up I saw this picture of you on the shelf smiling your famous smile. You loved when you needed love. You cared in the moments when you needed to be cared for. You showed our family what you had to offer this world and not what the world needed to offer you. That is why people felt so comfortable leaning on you, because they trusted in you beyond measure.
Papi, I make a lot of mistakes. Half of the time I have no idea what I am doing, but I do know one thing for sure; I will walk in your foot steps. I may not walk so well, I limp quite frequently but so did you. I may not stand up straight but I can still stand and stand I will until the day God calls me home to your side. I pray the ones I love lean on me as they did on you. You left big shoes to fill but I am up for the challenge.
I love you more than words,
Nani had her hand operated on today so she can’t throw frying pans for a while. Lucky us.